Weird, creepy or just plain nasty?
What I find truly weird is that when Kamala Harris's campaign labelled bleach boy Donny T and his douche coupers as weird it cut through, yet insurrection, treason, rape, 39 proven felonies, a history of criminality, blatant grifting, daughter fondling, despot fawning and gibbering idiocies did not.
Trump is a spittoon for the overflow of every human personality defect housed within an orange-stuccoed pumpkin head topped by a bleached, road kill comb-over so by definition he's also a weirdo but in his case weirdness is a comparative virtue. Anyway, his millions of thralls and cultists are anonymous, massed useful idiots but are far too numerous to qualify as freaks and exceptions but does quantity disqualify them as weirdos rather than somewhat offbeat normies? You decide.
Who are the notable weirdos in Trump world with whom we can compare our own?
Discount the grifters and sycophants. They may be egregious arseholes but their motivation is clearer than their weirdness - self-interest:
Rafael Edward (Ted) Cruz. Ol' Jellyback who kissed Trump's ring after Trump publicly called his wife ugly.
Rudolph William Louis (Rudy) Giuliani. Hair dye leaking, public sphincter loosening, nudger exposing Trump lawyer and victim of "everything Trump touches dies" (ETTD) syndrome. Too bad so sad, Rudy.
Alex Jones - conspiracy theory and Infowars fake news website creator is scum who exploits outrage for clicks. Karma kicked Jones in the plums when juries in Connecticut and Texas awarded a total of $1.487 billion in damages to a Sandy Hook shooting first responder and families of victims. Jones is worse than weird - he's evil.
Ignore the dumb as a box of hair, noxious effluvia who are more accurately described as deeply, deeply and irredeemably stupid. And nasty:
She's so far right she's come full circle and disappeared up her own secessionist arsehole. She's sporky minger Marjorie Taylor-Green of peach tree dish, Gazpacho police and Jewish space laser fame,
and
37 year old grandmother, Skanks-R-Us franchisee and public hand-job afficianado Lauren Bobert whose hubby was want to flash his frightener in bowling alleys.
Leading the way for the prominent and most committed of freaks is Elon Musk - Twitter troll and Howard Hughes-level, super rich weirdo.
"In 2018 Musk’s tweets were become (sic) so erratic and bizarre that Tesla investors had to tell him to basically ‘shut up’ as he was costing them money." On Musk and his sale of Tesla shares.
He paid $44B to single-handedly destroy the value of the Twitter brand.
Musk’s son is called X Æ A-XII, his second child Exa Dark Sideræl. Three cars in the Tesla Model 3 series were going to be called Model S, Model E and Model X. He “likes to live-tweet his poops”. He accused one of the divers who rescued the Thai football team marooned in a cave in Thailand of being a paedophile.
He's insecure; desperate for approval from the tech bros, the RWNJ Twitterati, the Heritage Foundation nutters and establishment media tycoons.
He's a conspiracy spreading tinfoil hatter - tweeting that illegal immigrants are being shipped into the US so that they can vote Democrat. He's an extremist existential threat to democracy
JDVance, the opportunistic, wannabe Trump Veep has been unfairly but believably accused of fornicating with furniture, becoming a viral meme and a drag on the Republican campaign as a result. That and his Handmaid's Tale breeder weirdness. Vance's boosting from the junior Trumps, Uday and Qusay, should've been warning enough for Donny Snr.
Steve Bannon, "The Leni Riefenstahl of the Tea Party movement"¹, populism's grand strategist whose wardrobe was rescued from a trailer park dumpster. Virulently anti-establishment,
impulsive and attention-seeking Bannon is an anarchist, a weirdo and a weirdo whisperer.
¹Andrew Breitbart, founder of Breitbart News
Roger Stone, My Pillow guy Mike Lindell, Trump lawyer and co-conspirator Sidney Powell, failed GOP presidential hopeful Pudding Fingers Ron DeSantis of the creepy forced smiles and arch-villain Stephen Miller are all prominent weirdos.
House Speaker and hence 3rd in line for the Presidency, Mike Johnson, (tautology alert) a self-righteous christo-fascist shares a porn-monitor phone app with his son. Interrupting each other's solo displays of affection? Weird.
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How do our own RWNJs stand up to the competition posed by these American weirdos?
They're nasty and they're hateful. They are mendacious, grubby, bullying and incompetent and they're world-leading hypocrites and pecksniffs but are they weird and are they creepy? Can they match the grotesqueries who populate Trumpistan? Who are they?
Barmy Joyce, the Englebert Humpastaffer and menace to sobriety from New England, emerges frequently from a wobbley-booted haze of hairy dogs and pink elephants to gormlessly opine on any and all matters, ranging from the effect of gay marriage on the beef trade to the coronavirus being less threatening than snakes (please know® that there have been 9 deaths attributed to snake bites in Australia in the 2020s so far and 9,859 deaths due to COVID-19 registered in 2022). Barmy is not weird, he's just a fucking idiot.
®Gladdy Two-shoes Berejiklian
Clive Palmer's $100M senator and libido-suppressant Ralphie Babet, when not badgering the witness or answering to criminal damage and unlawful assault charges is desperately trying to raise his social media profile in the niche cooker market and to get noticed by the heavies within the MAGAe cult. Ralphie's a bit of a tragic, look-at-me kinda non-achiever who fanboys Andrew Tate. Pathetic, creepy and yes, a fully fledged weirdo. But easily ignored.
A “most powerful, divisive, and yet indestructible bureaucrat²” Mike Pezzullo the now sacked swarthy bard wrote in his 2021 Anzac Day speech “In a world of perpetual tension and dread, the drums of war beat – sometimes faintly and distantly, and at other times more loudly and ever closer”. An anti-China hawke, a practitioner of dark political arts and a fan of black-uniformed, armed goon squads Pezzullo is one weird dude. Rasputin or Machiavelli? Doesn't matter anymore.
²A seasoned observer of Federal politics. Michael West Media
Brother Stuie Robert. Less appealing than guiding Alan Jones into a glory hole this Nosferatu replicant is your run-of-the-mill happy clapping hypocrite. No weirder than venal, evangelizing prosperity gospellers everywhere. His inability to form an image in a mirror perhaps explains his lack of self-awareness.
Cray Cray Kelly - persona au gratin. When Clive Palmer was looking for potential UAP candidates he despatched a flunkey for a fact hunt. He returned with a picture of Craig Kelly. And so the whole "Our Next Prime Minister" weird farce was born.
Screwloose Lautrec, the homunculus Malcolm Roberts of One Notion made the short list 😎. He's a weirdo's weirdo, a RWNJ's FRWNJ. He would've better served the country as sandwich spread for noted person of girth Gorgeous George Christensen but that shit has sailed. Roberts has identified himself as "Malcolm-Ieuan: Roberts., the living soul". A sovereign citizen yet somehow at the same time a Federal senator. Interesting mental gymnastics in that. Anti-vaxxer, climate denier, UN conspiracy believer and fervent weirdo, Malcolm's the diminutive yet real deal.
Eric Abetz. He's baaack...he didn't die in a Berlin bunker. He's been re-elected, this time to the Tasmanian House of Assembly, possibly due to Tassie's weird Hare-Clark multi-member system. Eric is a relic, a coprolytic throw-back to the good old days of Anschluss and Liebenstraum. Royalist Abetz wants to keep the Windsors - he likes to think that's one way the Germans will still be in charge. Is he weird? Who cares - he's irrelevant. His Hitler Youth rosette-bedecked mini-me James Paterson is a bigger worry.
Within the Tory pantheon of wombat-headed, trainer-wheeled, bottom-feeding, mono-browed, hairy-palmed, goose-stepping, bobble-headed, undie-sniffing, pecker-headed, bottle shouldered detritus the three most consequential weirdos were each chosen to represent the clunge collective's values to the voting public as worthy of national stewardship:
Captain Catholic the mad Abbott, a blatant, unapologetic sexist who appointed himself Minister For Women, was weirdly submissive to Mistress Cruella his dominatrix chief of staff, yet he affected a persona of sluggo-wearing machismo and a bow-legged amble that suggested his nutsack was badly prickled by nettles. Tones applied his LOTO style to the PMship and wondered why constant, carping negativity didn't work when he was the government.
Easily out-weirding The Monk is of course Skiddy Morrison - self-described as God's appointed representative. As the country and the world moved on around him The Great Schmo flattered himself with the title of 'leader'. In his mind possibly The Great Leader or The Dear Leader; mistaking control freakery as leadership.
Cast your mind back to the images of Skiddy adoringly licking Trump's earlobe, of his furtive fondling of strangers as some sort of creepy, evangelical conversion therapy. Recall his undergoing of Covid isolation with just his personal photographer, his hair washing as photo op, his "Great South Land of The Holy Spirit" dominionism, his self-congratulations at not having women protesters shot and his robust self-regard that withstood copious evidence that he was incompetent and scandal riddled and weird.
"Morrison was only the harbinger of a worse politics to come."
Spud Dutton, El Chippo, Herr Shickltuber, Adolph Kipfler, Gruppenfritter, Dick Tater...the potato-themed epithets are endless. A misanthrope's dream - the man has the personality of a tuber and the warmth of a cold cup of sick. That he's nasty is indisputable - an autocratic self-styled strong man who, Morrison-like, disappears when Tory-centred controversy arises, a truncheon-headed tough guy with a thin skin, a tormentor of the powerless and the dusky toned, a Bjelke-Peterson acolyte, a Gina Rinehart gofer.
His monotone drone, a blowie slowy circling the lounge room, reminds us he heads an ideas free zone, an Opposition defined by what it's against. A thought bubble got out of hand and so he hoped that he could then use nuclear energy as a wedge on Labor's energy policy. He has no intention of ever implementing such an unworkable boondoggle of course but it's cheap politics over the national interest every time.
Spud as PM is like leaving the cat to guard your sashimi. A return to the Tories will reanimate their manifesto of blatant graft and favouritism that would give pause to Saudi royalty while the traditional Tory practices of incompetence and bastardry continue in the background.
OK, that's all nasty and creepy but it's standard Tory practice. Where's the weird? I get a real sense that this bloke would get a kick from pulling the wings off butterflies. Let us hope that he doesn't last long enough for us to find out.
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UAP Senator Ralph Babet was always quite weird. But lately he seems to be heading further down the MAGA-hole. Rachel Withers, Crikey. ($)
Mike Pezzullo. The demise of a Canberra’s “most powerful, divisive, and yet indestructible bureaucrat”. Michael West Media.
Mr Roberts has also written numerous reports claiming climate change is an international conspiracy fostered by the United Nations and international banks to impose a socialist world order. At least one report cites several anti-Semitic conspiracy theorists, including notorious Holocaust denier Eustace Mullins among its "primary references"
One Nation senator Malcolm Roberts wrote bizarre 'sovereign citizen' letter to Julia Gillard. Michael Koziol. SMH 6/8/16. ($)
A great perspective ... we do indeed have a global circus where the main attraction is a sideshow of political mutants perhaps even aliens, 👽👽👽 competing to see who can outweird whom. It’s not just a clash of ideologies - it's a full-on freak fest,😮😮😮 where being normal is the only disqualifier!
Good to see the Trump brigade in the same article as our own home grown loonies. Birds of a feather for sure. As for the MAGAts a friend recently opined; remember one out of every three Trump supporters is just as stupid as the other two.
Another excellent piece Geezer. I loved Englebert Humpastaffer and leaving the cat to guard your sashimi. My ribs are sore! Karma has come to get revenge on the orange man in the person of Kamala. The idiotic GOP fell for the old 'rope-a-dope routine followed by a sucker punch. Even JD 'look what the cat dragged in' Vance admitted that they fell for the sucker punch, something 'Duckin Donny' the debate dodger won't admit to. Thanks again for the laughs, much appreciated.